Richard Dawkins Receives Stigmata, Takes Back Everything

Richard Dawkins, acclaimed evolutionary biologist, New York Times best-selling author, and outspoken atheist, shocked the world today after announcing his conversion to Roman Catholicism and resignation as Professor for the public understanding of science at the University of Oxford. A fierce advocate of scientific rationalism, Dawkins wrote The God Delusion, which argues that a supernatural creator is most assuredly nonexistant and that religions have done more harm than good.
When pressed to explain his sudden complete reversal in basically all ideological beliefs he stated, "Well, I guess it just took me a particularly long time to see the light...and blood, oh God...the blood."