Trip Report: Moving Day! (again)

Hey all, it's Miriam coming back at you with the newest info. I hope the slang doesn't offend you, I just learned it from one of my new friends Roberto. Roberto works with my Dad and helps him move all of our things from one house to another. We have been on quite an adventure these last few months! Daddy and Mommy told me that our whole family was hired as "house testers". We go to houses and make sure that they are working okay. We sleep and live in them for a few weeks and then the police come to check on us and get our report. Sometimes Dad has to go down to the police station to give the Chief the report. They must need that info really fast because sometimes they put him in metal rings and push him into the back of the car, then rush away with the flashing lights on. They move really fast when they drive away! Mommy goes and picks up Daddy and we go to our next assignment. They get a paper and find a "Four Closed" house, which means that we get the highest rate of pay for our testing work - four. Daddy told me the closed part just means that no one else can test it before we can. We must be in some exclusive club!

Thank goodness we are homeschooled, none of my younger brothers and sisters need to get introduced to a whole bunch of new, mean people that pull at their dress, make fun of them while they pray, spit on them when they go out to recess to read alone, have to avoid crowds filled with girls that have no reason to harbor ill will towards me but seem to anyway, say terrible things into my ears when I'm are trying to work on math, stomp on my volcano project that Mommy and Daddy worked on for hours with me, leaving me crying in the back of the science fair, wondering why God is not helping me get through my troubles and conquer my hardships, crying and crying and sobbing and weeping by myself until someone finds me, screaming at him to go away before he starts moving closer to me, suddenly noticing that he is a tall and kind man with eyes that look like truth, screaming louder as he grew closer and closer but feeling intrigued and intoxicated by his presence, taking his hand in mine and squeezing tight, feeling like at that moment no one could hurt me, finally finding another good Christian young man like me, that consoled me, held me close and said nothing at all, understanding how hard it is to be who I am in a world that doesn't understand our lifestyle and seems to work hard at rejecting us, starting a friendship built on respect and understanding, growing used to the sight and smell and touch of each other until one day, sitting close underneath the majestic old oak tree behind the school, Liam proposes to me, gently brushing my hair behind my ear and whispering that he loves me, the antidote to the vitrol and hate that others whispered before, the antidote to my troubles, the reason that I haven't already run away to find a new life somewhere, anywhere else, calling me Miri like he has since the moment we met when I could barely say my name through the wet, hot tears falling down my face, finishing each long kiss by turning my head ever so slightly to nibble my earlobe, making me feel like the most beautiful woman on earth, saying yes as he holds me, feeling pleasure I've never felt before, rushing home in the dark to tell my Mommy and Daddy, being confronted with moving trucks and my entire family already in the van, being scolded by Daddy for returning after curfew, being forced into the van with everyone else, leaving Liam behind, leaving love behind, leaving life behind, trying to explain to Mommy without explaining...

Oh boy! Sometimes when I get going it's hard to stop. Anyway, I was watching Glenn Beck re-runs today and...

Liam, if you're reading this please find me. We are desperate, we are broke, we are following Glenn Beck's advice and stocking up for the Obamapocalypse, when the brownshirts come and take us away, we are leaving our car running for hours outside in order to warm up the unseasonably cold weather like Beck did, we are starting every dinner by reviewing the 9-12 principles that Glenn has been raging about on his show. Daddy is ranting and raving every day about the socialist spending bill that is going to bring Mexicans and terrorists into our backyards. It's bordering on unintelligible lately. Every day I grow more scared, but I am just as helpless as I was the day I left and never saw you again. I can't take this anymore. I can't write this fake blog to try and convince the world and the investigators that I'm fine. I'm not fine. I still love you. I still need you. Daddy monitors my innernette access very carefully so I don't know how much longer I will be able to t

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Trip Report: Wal-Mart

Hey all, just writing today to tell you how great my trip to Wal-Mart was! Now that I'm finally 25, I went by myself to America's greatest superstore without my dear Mother and Father. As all my loyal readers know, I've been preparing for this day for a long time now. Although we did leave the compound from time to time, we were always blindfolded and given "sleepy shots" in order to make it easier to move us. Up until a few years ago I thought the Today show was just across the street! The world of America is truly a huge and wonderful place. But enough about that, I know my quiverfull readers can't wait to hear about going to Wal-Mart solo!!!

It. Was. AMAZING! Did you know they have a Mac Donald's Restaurant right inside!? There is almost nothing you can't buy inside, from clothing to shoes to televisions to devil music! I made sure not to do anything bad inside, I don't want to go back in the dark punishment room and have to drink salty milk from the big straws again. It seems like any time I did anything wrong that would be my punishment! Well no more, I think I really learned my lesson.

I walked around and followed the list Mother and Father had prepared for me. I made sure to check off each item as I got it. I had to ask for directions around the store a few times, that place sure is big! Once I gathered all of my things, I pulled out the envelope that Mother and Father had given me filled with rectangular green paper. It seems like I didn't have to do anything but hand Enrique these pieces of paper in order to take all of these things out of the store with me! Enrique even gave me some silver and copper back in exchange for my "magic green barter paper" (that's the name Matthew and Mark came up with after I had shared stories of my adventure with them).

Well dear Innernette readers I hope you enjoyed the story of my travels! I'll write to you again soon. Goodbye!