Welcome to Boulder

RANDOM FACTS

did you know dreadlocked hippies can actually be ignorant, hostile assholes?

ITS TOTALLY TRUE.

Welcome to Boulder!



One second you are leaving a japanese restaurant with a group of people talking about whatever the fuck and then the next some dreadlocked patchouli saturated dead eyed motherfucker is getting in your face about what you may or may not have said when his "homeboy" "accidentally" brushed against you.

John Papaioannou's Guide to Socialization

Step 1: At any sign of homophobia, be sure to overtly and unflinchingly flirt with this person to maximize the uncomfortableness

Step 2: At any sign of aggression and/or hostility be sure to emphasize how attracted you are to said person

Step 3: When threatened with a punch to the face, definitely openly exclaim that you are indeed a "faggot" and need to hide your bonafide throbbing erection since said person is clearly turning you on

Step 4: Walk away after these dumb loud-mouth fucks simply move along after all the hype of REAL FIGHTING diminishes rapidly

End Goal: Having other people you don't know angry at you for "possibly" inciting a fight with "pacifist" homophobic retards and trying oh so hard to understand what the problem is


Welcome to Boulder Faggot