Book Signing Tomorrow!

Hi fellow Dempians, I would like to announce that my new book "The Seduction Game: for Physicists" has gotten picked up by Dover Publications. I will be holding a book signing tomorrow from 11pm- ? in my basement where you can purchase advanced copies of the book from me!

So what do you think turns on women the most?

Did you say math?

Warm.

Ok, how about applied math?

Warmer.

Hmm... what about expansions of eigenfunctions in terms of orthogonal polynomials?

Whoa, hold on! Let's not get ahead of ourselves. However, you are on the right track.

This book will teach you how to use your analytic skills to effectively seduce women. The basics covered are:

Opening sets- you're at a coffeeshop and overhear a two-set of 9's discussing the Copenhagen Interpretation of Quantum Mechanics, what do you do?

1) Tell a funny anecdote about Paul Dirac!
2) Show them that you can derive Bell's Inequality
3) Whip out your penis and ask them according to the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, whether or not there is a non-zero probability of a threesome at some time t? (warning: this is advanced technique and is a high-risk/low-percentage move)

With my book you will learn several other ways to engage in conversations geared towards inexplicably specific situations, literally, several.

Building Rapport- Ok, you've already introduced yourself, you've done the hard part, now for some fun. At this stage you gain their trust while simultaneously enhancing your attraction and weakening their defenses.

e.g. discuss one of many possible paradoxes(my personal favorites are the twin paradox and EPR paradox). Paradoxes are great cause it simultaneously makes you seem smart and confuses them thereby boosting your attraction while weakening their defenses to your advances.

True Story
So I was at a colloquium on General Relativity when I spotted a three-set(7,7,9) sitting behind me. I turned around armed with a classic opener about the SU(2) Lie group of angular momentum. I grabbed their attention. I quickly advanced to irreducible spherical tensorial operators and the Wigner-Eckart Theorem. Before they knew what was happening, I'm all touch and go and have moved on to forbidden transitions in atomic theory... by the time I was ready to generalize the theorem to representation theory they we were all in my bedroom.
Naked.

See what happened?
I warmed up to them with some basic quantum theory, then bedazzled them with a relentless flurry of advanced concepts while leading them back to my place for the f-close. They were so caught up in all of the wonder of physics that they didn't even have time to realize they have entered the fuck-zone, party of 4!
This is an advanced technique called the Shotgun Method which you can learn for yourself in my book.

One last sneak peak into the fascinating world of seduction, here's a glimpse at one of my most secretive techniques that involves some prior knowledge of linear algebra.

Changing Bases- Much like how a complicated physics problem can become a whole lot easier in light of a change of coordinates, a difficult situation with a woman can be handled in the same way. Say you're safe at first base with a 10 but there's resistance to taking it further. Easy, headbutt her. Make sure she's unconscious... now you're in control.
Steal home, you've earned it!

I hope you will give my book a thorough read and that it changes your life!

Seduction is a tool in your toolkit, and when all you have is a hammer, everything looks nailable.
- Albert Einstein